The Rules of the Road

Last night Phil and I were joined by our friend Cheryl for yet another delicious meal. If I manage to not come back home 300 pounds heavier it will be a miracle. (Meanwhile Phil's pants are about to fall off because he has been losing so much weight lately. I love you baby, but dammit, it's just not fair!) Then we caught a cab with a very chatty driver who informed us that his girlfriend broke up with him via text message, and we headed to a show in Old Jaffa. It was definitely similar to Stomp, although considering I have never even seen Stomp, I am not sure how qualified I am to make that statement. I would say it was definitely Stomp-ish though. I mean, they danced and beat on both metal and plastic garbage cans. What could possibly be more Stomp-ish than that?

So today I decided to take advantage of Shabbat and take the car out for my first spin. For those of you who aren't familiar with Shabbat, it's a day of rest that starts on Friday evening and ends on Saturday evening. (FYI the weekend here is on Friday and Saturday. Sunday is the first work day of the week.) Technically one is not supposed to "create" anything during the sabbath, just like God rested on the 7th day after creating the heavens and earth. Strict observers (aka the Orthodox Jews) do not do anything during this time. Their meals are already prepared and left to keep warm, lights are put on timers so they are not technically creating the light, and hotels designate one elevator to be the Shabbat elevator and it is programmed to stop on every single floor. But perhaps the craziest thing I have heard about is Shabbat toilet paper. Yes, they make pre-torn toilet paper for Shabbat because tearing it is considered creating as you are technically creating two pieces from one. Yes, I swear it's true. Freaky.....but true.

So during Shabbat the city pretty much slows down. Most shops are closed, all Kosher restaurants are closed and there are far fewer people out walking and driving on the street. Tel Aviv in general is a very secular city, although many of the Jewish traditions such as Shabbat are still observed to some extent. Most non-kosher restaurants, of which most are in the city, thankfully remain open as do many larger grocery stores. In general there is a much calmer feel to the city than other days of the week.

So I decided that this would be a nice time to try my hand at driving in the city. Normally the mere thought of driving in Tel Aviv is enough to give me a small stroke and send me into a panic. The rules of the road here are basically that there are no rules of the road. For example, lines dividing the lanes in the road are either merely a suggestion or there for decorative purposes only. Cars stop/park pretty much wherever the hell they feel like it. You can be cruising down a major street in the right hand lane and suddenly have to slam on your brakes because someone decided to pull over and "park" in the right lane while they unload their groceries or simply shoot the breeze with a friend on the sidewalk. I suppose I should give them at least some credit--at least they put their flashers on. Also, Israelis love to honk their horns. You can be at a red light, like 6 or 7 cars back, the light will turn yellow (it turns yellow before turning green but you are technically not supposed to go until green--the yellow is just a heads up) and the car behind you will honk at you like you are holding up the show. Seriously, where in the hell is it you would like me to go?!?!?! And don't even get me started on all the noisy scooters that suicidally weave in and out of traffic at 90km/hr and even drive on the sidewalk if they feel like traffic on the road is just not moving fast enough.

So my drive to and from the store was actually quite smooth. There was far less traffic and fewer crazy people on the road than usual. And I even think that in respect of the sabbath people honked their horns a little less. Or maybe I am just starting to become immune to the incessant honking that has become the background music to our everyday life. That along with the bonechilling cries of the feral cats that live below our apartment.

In any case, I made it to and from the store with only minimal navigational help required and then proceeded to make oh, about a 30point turn in order to wedge the car back into our spot. Okay, maybe 30 is a slight exaggeration, but not by much. Now for this I required serious coaching from Phil, as I do not know how to park anywhere except in a nice large parking spot designed to fit all the unnecessarily large SUV's Americans are so in love with. God bless America. Seriously, I can't even parallel park. I think for my drivers test I made like four right turns and then they handed me my license. Needless to say this was very,very difficult for me and quite frankly, I just don't have the patience for it. So if you are planning on visiting us either catch a cab or make sure Phil can pick you up, 'cause I ain't gonna do it!

But please, please, please, come visit!